Eras hija de housekeeping
The state would eat her to the bone
Lick her every drop
And hang up her right foot
like a shoe
whose laces are twice knotted through
on
the wire
between streets and state lines
A fine line to exist by
when you’re running away from the father of your child.
I grew up cleaning motel rooms with my Mami. Her bosses knew her as the cleaning lady with avocados.
You see, we had this tree towered twice over our house and scattered its fruit across
every inch of the yard which was littered with my father’s junked cars.
So we collected them and sent them to our relatives, to los jefes.
Our gift, from our roots to the sun.
My Mami’s work hired two women named Rosa.
So on the envelopes of money handed to her, they wrote ROSA AVOCADO
She didn’t tell my Pa que tenia trabajo. Por que se ofendia y nos hiciera mas daño.
He’d leave a hundred dollar bill.
En el comedor, antes del trabajo, a las 7 en punto, cado Lunes, cuatro veces al mas.
Para los gastos de sus tres hijos.
Y mi Mami nunca le dijo, que sobrevivimos sobre estampillas, que con eso no se ajustaba
la marketa, la ropa, y todavia no le permitia que trabajara.
Porque el trabajo de la mujer es mantener la casa.
. . .
But what do you do when you’ve abandoned the world you know?
With all its customs and its holy ties to your ancestors.
If you raised your child, near the coast of Nayarit, would she still reject God so violently?
esa tierra santa tierra
Te extrañare a traves de memoria
de las historias que le cuento a mi hija
sobre mi madre y mi infancia.
esa tierra santa tierra
But your LA made
Ego bruised
By the shame
That you didn’t leave
The second your children had seen
A father’s violence and your obediency.
she believed that he
could learn to love like he did before there were cracks in her skin
when he’d come with her to the market, and stroll
on Cesar Chavez and Soto
where their lives begin.
. . .
We live better now
We’ve lived in a motel
One bedroom sanctuaries
One day I’ll get her a house
like she’s always asked of me.
We pull apart the sheets To different corners of the mattress
at my university.
We fold each edge into a crease.
Eso es todo Mami!
Eras hija de housekeeping.
